Arachnophobia
by MiathoL
Summary: Natasha Romanoff, the Dreaded Black Widow, fears her own kin. But to be fair, who is really truly not afraid of spiders? It would seem everyone in SHIELD, minus her. Series of one-shots/drabbles.
1. Prologue

Natasha Romanoff.

The dreaded Black Widow.

A name rightly deserved.

Natasha feared no man. No mission. No challenge.

One could argue she feared nothing, but they would be wrong.

The Black Widow was an arachnophobe. Of all the things to fear, she fears her namesake.

Her countless assassinations, life as a mercenary, more training than most in any branch of the military, none could prepare her to take the life of a spider.

Really. Think about it.

They have _eight _legs. Four too many. Two too many if you are an animal person.

_But still_.

They can still walk and live if a few get taken off doing battle with a Kleenex, or thick magazine or maybe a broom handle, whatever floats your boat.

That is not natural.

Their ability to be _everywhere _at once is scary enough. Did you know you are always three feet away a spider? Creepy.

Rats in German sewers compared to one spider in her shower?

Rats.

Maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration, but that is beside the point.

Luckily, she has allies in her war against arachnids. People who won't judge her _too _hard.

Maybe.


	2. Tony

**These will mostly be drabble length, and I plan on doing all the Avengers and a couple others (Fury, Hill, Coulsin) but if you have any other suggestions, from anyone in the Marvel universe, let me know.**

**Tony**

Avengers Tower in New York was under full renovations after the battle against Loki. It was smashed, burnt, cracked, and simply inhabitable.

Tony, lest he spend more time on the helicarrier, offered up his Malibu home to everyone. He figured he wouldn't have to see anyone if he didn't want to, and it might be nice to get out of the city.

They made their way to LAX in one of Tony's private jets, where Happy was waiting with cars to bring the team to their temporary home.

The entire flight was spent by Pepper teasing Tony about his change of heart and sudden generosity.

When they pulled through the garage, Tony gestured to everyone's respective rooms and announced they had reservations at a local sushi bar downtown.

Everyone, minus Tony and Natasha, gladly accepted. Tony said he had too much work to do on the tower, though he would foot the bill, and Natasha was feeling worn and simply stated she wanted a warm shower.

Their friends left the two alone in the underground garage.

"So, you need some help finding your shower?" Tony hinted suggestively at Natasha, who glared.

"Now is not the time for you to you to be perverted. Not all of us have metal battle suits. I'm not in any mood to bring you down for the comment." She rolled her eyes.

"Maybe, but a catsuit is just as acceptable. Go put it on and then bring me down."

Natasha internally groaned at Tony's pathetic pick-up, and just walked away, leaving Tony's waggly eyebrows in the garage.

She walked through the grand mansion to find her room. She pulled a towel from the bathroom, undressed and wrapped herself in the fluffiness. She turned on the shower, one of those all glass cubicles, dropped the towel and wet her hair, letting her eyes close as she melted into the steam.

She opened her eyes to find some shampoo, when a back dot caught her eye.

It was moving into the corner of the shower, away from the water.

It had eight, long spindly legs.

_Spider._

No. No. No. No. No.

She screamed a little bit, her hands went to her mouth.

"Tony! Tony come help me! Now!" She scrambled from the box out onto the bathroom floor, barely given enough time to cover her body with a towel just as Tony knocked on the door.

"Change your mind? Need some help?" His voice was dripping with hope.

Still on the floor, Natasha unlocked the door, and wiggled out of the door frame.

"Kill the goddamn spider that is in my shower. Now or I swear you will never sleep again. Don't try anything either." Tony only looked confused. HE walked to the still running shower, shut it off and spotted the medium sized arachnid in the corner.

"I think you wanted me to see you like this. There's no way you could've missed this." He scooped it up in his hands and analyzed it.

"Jarvis, call an exterminator. The black widows got in again."

"_Right away, sir"_

"Well, Black Widow. You've been outdone by your own kind." He was letting the spider walk over in his hands.

"They're poison is lethal, please kill it." She was still on the floor.

"What do I get in return?" He didn't even look up from the spider.

"You got to see me wet and naked on the floor, I think you're fighting for your life at this point."

"Wet and _toweled_. Not naked. Sweetheart, there's a difference. Trust me." He tossed the spider into the shower, stomped on it then washed it down the drain.

"I take it you hated living in Cali, Natalie. Black Widows come and go in this area. I didn't know you were afraid of something smaller than you." She ignored the jab.

"When they started calling me that, I thought of a woman in black, a widow, who just killed her husband. Actual black widows, not spiders. Now get the hell out of my room." Tony put his hands up and backed out, shutting the door behind him.

"_That could've been worse. There could've been two spiders. Or a bigger one." _

She kept panicking in her head, not caring at all what teasing Tony inevitably was planning.

Priorities.

**I saw this one bug infestation show like five years ago where this person's garage in southern California was like completely covered in black widow webs. Disgusting. **

**Don't shoot me if my facts are wrong, because I do not want to be googling spiders and have to actually look at them.**


	3. Bruce

**Thanks for all the support guys! I really wasn't expecting this to take off as it did. It means a ton :D**

**I want to focus more on the build than the actual interaction with the spiders. I feel like if I just do that, it will be too fake and out of character. **

**Also, I'm a total arachnophobe. Most of the spiders I will use are MADE UP because I'm not going to google them. If you haven't heard of it, assume it is fake. Oki doki Loki, here we go!**

**Bruce**

Eight months after the battle, the new Avengers had settled down and accepted their role as worldwide peacekeepers.

Four months later, the Avengers tower had finished renovations of the upper floors, made suitable into a proper living space.

To celebrate the one year anniversary of being alien free, the group was being thrown a celebratory dinner at SHIELD's super-secret headquarters. No one knew exactly where it was; anyone with out the proper privileges and clearance was kept below deck of the helicarrier, or in a windowless quinjet.

Not something Bruce would be looking forward too, on top of this soiree.

He, like most other times and outings, opted to stay behind. No one blamed him, or pressured him into going anywhere that could bring out the Other Guy. He was greatly looking forward to spending a quiet evening in his lab.

He would never admit it, and swore to furiously deny it should it come up, but he was working on a serum to reverse his gamma ray exposure.

The Other Guy was making this slow work.

But Bruce was still determined.

Tonight, he was planning on trying a risky cocktail of chemicals on affected lab monkeys. It will be a big step forward, and the Other Guy was sure to not like it, so better to be safe than sorry and do it in an empty lab.

He asked Jarvis for the elevator, and was surprised to see a very worn out looking Natasha Romanoff step out when the doors opened. She looked terrible.

Her usually neat red curls were flat, oily and filled with debris. Her navy blue cat suit was cut and torn in many places, with her signature Black Widow belt scuffed beyond recognition. She had all her weight on her left foot, so she would likely be limping, and much blood was caked around her body.

"Hello, Natasha. You're back early. Everything alright?" Bruce asked as she stepped out and plopped into the first thing she saw, a plush couch. She was limping, and in pretty bad shape, but she made it back alive and that meant her wounds didn't matter.

"Barely. My cover was blown and I had to do everything by hand. No firepower, no getaway car. I feel like death." Bruce always admired her ability to cope with stressors like that. He could never make vital decisions in a split second. Well, the Other Guy could, but he was beyond Bruce's control more times than not.

"Don't take it the wrong way, but you look like it." Natasha chuckled and rolled her head to the back of the couch. "Do you want any tea?" He walked towards the kitchenette.

"Please. Anything will do." He fixed them a pot of strong Jasmine and gave her a cup.

"Thanks, but if you don't mind, I would like to take this in my room." She spoke quietly, voice filled with exhaustion.

"Go ahead. I'll just be in my lab. Good night." Natasha thanked him for the tea and went to her room, first door on the right.

She gulped the tea down, thankful for the warmth, and set the cup on her vanity. She sat down and looked at the mess in the mirror. Too tired to shower and deal with the blood, she decided to simply change her clothes and brush these twigs from her disgusting hair.

The only sleeping clothes she had were silky nightgowns, or fancy matching sets. She is currently covered in blood and likely smells like earth, so it would be foolish to ruin such nice clothes.

With a quick glance to the living area to make sure Bruce was gone, Natasha quickly dashed across the hall of bedrooms into Clint's, where she pulled out a pair of exercise pants. She brought them back to her room and dressed in those and an old shirt of hers. Clint wouldn't mind. Maybe it would even inconvenience him for all the times he's pranked her.

Pathetic, but it's something.

She sat down once more at the vanity, and spritzed her hair with water. She drew the wooden box that held her porcelain hairbrush and opened the lid, when she saw it.

The ungodly being scurried from the handle into the head, into the bristles.

This was in her _hair. _Natasha screamed and threw the entire box at the wall. This was in her _hair!_ Hair! She used this brush every day! It was imported Russian porcelain!

"Jarvis! Jarvis get Bruce up here! Please! Tell him it's important!" She spoke to the AI while backing into the corner. She could see not one, but _two _spiders scurry from the shards of hairbrush, one from the head and the other

"_They are a couple! They were mating! They have children! Thousands and thousands of children spiders!" _ She was as far as she possibly could be from the disgusting pile in her small room, which happened to be next to her door.

Bruce knocked softed and called for her. "Natasha! Are you okay? It's me, please let me help!" The knock startled her and she tumbled to the floor. From there, she reached up to the handle and cracked the door.

"Please stay calm, Bruce. Please." Bruce, incredibly startled, dropped to her level.

"I'm fine, now let me help you." She swung the door open the rest of the way, and pointed to the pile.

"Kill those spiders. Send them to hell. There was one in my hairbrush and the other in the box. How many times have I brushed my hair with spider? Bruce, I can't handle that. Just get rid of it." This was where her fuss was about? He walked over to the box and saw two small spider curled inside.

"You saw two?" She nodded. Bruce looked around and grabbed her destroyed suit and wrapped the box with it.

"Come with me."He took the package and walked over to her, and offered his hand. He saw Clint's pants but said nothing.

"What are you doing?" She was apprehensive and didn't take it.

"Sending them to hell, let's go." She let him help her, but stepped away when she was standing. He led her to the elevator and took them to lab level. He gestured to the far corner, where a metal box stood.

"Do you want to do it, or should I?" He held the bundle over the box.

"What is it?"

"Incinerator." As dramatically as he could, he dropped said bundle into the fire and, as promised, sent the spiders to hell.

"Hey, where is everyone, anyway?"

**Note to self: Do Natasha meets Spider-man **


	4. Pepper

**I like Nat's priorities.**

**Goddamn, don't you wish you could incinerate every spider you saw? That would be my superpower. I'm Peter Parker's arch nemesis. **

**This chapter is for Sensical Deficit whose review made my day! Thanks so much! 3 **

**Pepper**

As the team got better and better at working together, they also became faster at getting jobs done, leaving much free time.

There would be stretches of days at first, then weeks, where they had simply nothing else to do but train. When renovations of the training rooms at Avenger's tower finished, reasons to leave their new luxurious home were far and far between.

That quickly got boring for everyone.

Tony went back to throwing lavish parties and travelling back and forth from New York to his home in Malibu.

Bruce, on his better days, would go out and talk to local scientists to share discoveries and offer advice to them.

Clint just got drunk. He had no home or life outside his work and found he was almost always bored.

Thor was on Asgard, doing Odin knows what.

Natasha dedicated herself to her training. She never tired of it, and rarely left the tower.

Pepper noticed this and felt bad. The group would often go out together to some restaurant Tony owned, or cause mayhem around the globe, but Natasha never really got into it.

Pepper strived to be a good friend to her. They grew close and she learned that Natasha doesn't like leaving and going out for fear of being spotted.

After a while, Pepper announced a girl's night in, and sent the boys away to some bar she only heard of once through a friend.

When everyone had gone, and they were alone, they started their fun. Their brand of fun, not toe-painting, ghost summoning 'fun'.

They indulged to Tony's fine liquor cabinet until they were fuzzy, not drunk. Then Natasha tried to teach Pepper her signature knee flip, only to almost snap her neck.

They decided to just go watch a movie before they got hurt.

They spoke softly on the couch as they watched 'Gone with the Wind'. One of Pepper's all time favorite movies. Natasha was indifferent.

Halfway through, Pepper excused herself to the bathroom.

A few moments later, her shrill scream broke through the door.

Natasha, fearing the worst, ran and kicked down the door to find Pepper standing on the toilet, crying, and spraying hairspray on some invisible force.

"Pepper! What's wrong!" She was still spraying.

"Kill it! Please! I'm afraid of spiders!" Natasha felt her blood go cold. And then she saw it.

A large, hairy dot cornered under the counter.

_Spider. Oh no. Not now. _

"Natasha! Kill it! It walked right over my foot!" Nat froze. No way she could do this! She needed one of the guys to!

She did the most instinctive thing she could summon with such little blood flow.

She shouted to Jarvis to call everyone home as she lurched forward, swatted the hairspray away, scooped Pepper up bridal-style and shut them out of the bathroom. Shut out meaning they moved two feet down the hall from the wooden remains.

Pepper still had watery eyes and Natasha was heavily breathing. Jarvis announced the men were en-route.

"Why-why couldn't you do it?" Pepper turned her head to her friend.

"I can't."

"You can't? It crawled over my foot! I felt every hairy little leg!" Natashsa knocked her head back on the door.

"I just can't, Pepper." It dawned on her.

"The Black Widow is afraid if spiders? No way."

"I could've left you in there!" She glared at Pepper, who promptly shut up.

"Do you feel—soiled?" Nat gestured to her foot.

"Incredibly." Pepper whispered.

They stayed in this position until Steve and Tony were the first to burst through the door. Tony lifted Pepper, who could barely blubber 'Spider' while Steve located it and stomped it out. Tony then gave Natasha a hand up.

"Russian war-lords and rogue ex-employees compared to a tiny rock spider? For shame, girls, for shame." Natasha jabbed Clint, then escorted Pepper to her bathroom where she could scrub her foot until it bled in peace.

**Spiders and bathrooms. Aajfghgfrgjfnhgjeak NO. Seriously, why there? And what's with the house centipede things crawling in bedrooms. **

**One crawled under my bed once. I didn't sleep there for a week. 0_o**


	5. Fury

**Sorry it has been so long. School started and I am lazy. **

It had been a Daddy Long-Legs. How it got here, she'll never know.

The point is that is _was._

And that is not okay.

It was an _unauthorized stowaway. _

For anything else, that would guarantee life in prison.

_It _had got onto the quinjet, and now the offender was happily making itself at home in the corner next to Director Fury.

They were having a lovely chat about the new weapon upgrades with the slightest movement directed her gaze. It was enough.

She tensed and drew a sharp breath.

"-off. Agent Romanoff?" Fury was trying to call her attention back.

She was too far gone.

Techincally the little bastards couldn't do anything, but the fact that it existed. Just existed! On the world's most advanced form of aircraft! No! This must end.

She spoke fast and harsh.

"Director Fury I kindly ask that to the left of you on the ground in that corner see there," she jabbed a finger to the spot, "is a spider that does not have security clearance to be on this aircraft now kill it before it sends secrets to North Korea I heard they were developing insect based technology now could you be so kind thank you sir."

One breath.

Fury only stared. He was seriously judging her.

"Agent Romanoff I'm going to ask once. Get your act together or I'm pulling you from the mission and admitting you to PTSD treatment." It was still there.

"Sir, it isn't PTSD, just please?" She give him her most flattering eyes, to which he saw straight through. He dramatically rolled his eye, stood in a sarcastic fashion and stomped his steel-plated boot onto the spider, no bigger than a quarter.

"Thank you, sir. I'm sorry, you were saying?" Crisis averted.

"Agent, should that lack of composure over an insect ever occur again, I will see to it personally that you be subject to desensitization for your little _problem_. Now as I was saying about the stolen missile launch codes-." She tuned him out. Sudan, nuclear etc. etc.

Desensitization was out of the question. Mass murder, totally cool, not a blink of hesitation, but this.

No.


	6. Tony (Again)

**This is more of a drabble length since I already did Tony.**

**Also, the reviews for this are turning into a hilarious mush of personal spider stories. Check them out and have a laugh. Also feel free to leave your own and do a character suggestion!**

It was rare to have a truly lazy Sunday at the Tower. Especially for the Black Widow.

When not off around the world assassinating those needing a good bullet to the head, she was at SHIELD doing paperwork or helping Fury with the new agents.

Even she does paperwork. Something Tony Stark does not.

Regardless, they were quietly working in their respective parts of the weapons lab of the Avenger's Tower. Everyone was off doing whatever it is they do, and she was quietly cleaning her guns. With a glance over every so often, she could make out Tony making adjustments to a new gauntlet for his suit.

"What model are you on now, Stark?" She casually glanced up and he caught her eye.

"Nothing new, just adding a new ballistic seeking flare. I figure, why release flares when you can shoot them, and have them go wherever you like." She cocked her head. That wasn't a half bad idea. "And you, Miss Romanoff?"

"Just cleaning. The quiet is nice and there is no place to spread out as I do so upstairs."

"Are you sure you just didn't want to spend a little time with me?" He waggled his eyebrows, resulting in an eyeroll from Natasha. They went back to their work in silence.

And she saw it.

_The little bastard was on her clip just out of reach._

"Hey-Hey Tony?" She stepped backwards.

"Hey hey Nat, what what do you want want?"

"You wanna, uh get some target practice?" He saw her creeping away, he walked over to investigate.

"That? Are you serious? Again?" She nodded.

"Just do it. Please." He made no movement.

"Really? Who named you? I think I need to have a talk with them."

"Tony!" Her eyes flashed and he realized she was serious. He reached out and pulsed a stream of pure energy aimed just above the clip on to the spider, lest they explode. Happy that the spider was burning in hell, she relaxed and Tony made move to laugh.

Before he could blink, she loaded her gun and pressed it to his temple.

"No hears about this, Stark. No one." He chuckled.

"Watch it, Cupcake. Don't let the kid know I did that."

She cleared the slot, holstered and walked right out of the lab.

**The kid is Peter if you didn't get that. Whilst I don't ship Steve/Tony, I like that Tony would take him under his wing-er-suit. I'm going to eventually do one with him too. **


	7. Steve

**Sorry about the double Tony, but I really could not resist. Here, have some Steve.**

**Drabble length because I've got a lot of other fics to update. However, if you so strongly desire more Steve, and like clueless!innocent!Steve, check out **Right in the Childhood**, by me. If you also like Tony being Tony to Steve, check out **Fondue**. Also by me. (Surprise surprise.) **

Out of all the Avengers, no one had as little to as Steve. Still so out of touch, the super-soldier did pretty much nothing outside of reading and curiously watching everyone go about normal 21st century business. He asked so many questions so often, he was essentially useless in the eyes of Fury and, though unspoken, the sentiment of everyone else. Despite the fact he wasn't on missions, no one held it against him nor thought less of him so his limited involvement.

Natasha was pretty much the opposite. She never stopped moving. Fury had her here, and here, and here on the globe, doing missions and espionage and other things you don't have clearance to know about. She spent the least amount of time settled in New York.

Even though she was a high-up assassin, she still was human and still had to just put on the brakes and stop every once and a while, but only when that while was compatible with her orders from the Director.

Needless to say, she got Tuesday night off, but only after 6 PM, and only until 2:39 AM.

She spent it in silence laying on one of the long couches in the common area of the Tower. She just lay, blanking out everything and detaching her thoughts from her body and rested.

A more somber aspect of her training, in the event of capture and torture, was the brain training to shut down and remove herself from the unfortunate situation around her. Mind over matter. It has saved her life the handful of times she has gotten caught, but it still proved useful when she had mere hours off from work.

Steve was home, naturally, but he was not in this area, and didn't see Natasha come in, so when he saw her lying on the couch arm over eyes, he made himself known and apologized for not giving his position away, and not greeting her.

She sat up, stretched and smiled at him.

"Finally got some time off, I see?" He moved down to sit on the armchair across from the coffee table that separated them.

"Oh, just what little bit I could. You know how Fury is." She gave a knowing smile and Steve did so in return.

"But, Nat, would you rather be gone all the time, busy and tired, or grounded and useless, though bored and rested? Coffee?" Well that wasn't what she meant. She nodded and he made his way to the kitchen. "Just stay put, I've got this."

"Thanks, Steve. That was not what I intended to say."

"No problem, and don't worry, I think I'm more help here for the time being, just until I get caught up."

"But you will, and then you'll be just as desperate for a few hours off as I am." He smiled and returned with a tray. Setting it down on the table, he reached across to give her a mug, but he leaned a bit too far and accidentally nudged the table with his knee, causing it to move forward a bit on the varnished floor.

She took hold of the mug, and smiled in thanks. Steve returned to his seat and took a sip of his own.

A quick black speck made Natasha's eyes dart to the ground, and observed a small, but albeit very hairy spider moving towards the couch. She froze.

"Is everything alright?" Steve saw her clench. Her eyes darted to him, the spider, and back to him. He wouldn't make fun of her, would he? He couldn't. This is _Steve._ The least offensive male she knows.

"Could you please kill that spider?" She did her best to keep her voice from shaking, especially since it was making its way to her. She scooted a little farther left out of its reach.

"Of course." Steve stood, firmly rolled one of the magazines on the table and kneeled in front of it. With a solid swat, he squished the spider dead. Natasha relaxed, but was still eyeing up the… soiled paper.

With a slight chuckle, he dropped the entire magazine into the bin next to the kitchen and returned to his seat across the Black Widow.

"Thanks Cap."

"Anytime."

**Awww what a gentleman. He didn't even make fun of her :'''D**


	8. Clint

**Psychology is a horrible class. Don't ever take it. /procrastinating **

Clint was almost as much of a trickster as Loki.

He laughed his way through life. He had to, really, since there was not much to laugh about in his life.

Well that was before Fury, and SHIELD, and Natasha.

Natasha changed everything. He had a partner, for one, and everything that entails. One of which meaning that they spent much of their time together, and they knew what made each other tick.

Clint was fully aware of her "problem" and went out of his way to make her remember she had one.

He would place fake spiders around her apartment, set up impossibly small bowthreads she would walk through, like webs, he would drop light hairs on her to make her squirm, and in the event of an actual spider, he would do nothing.

Usually.

Natasha is scary.

Natasha is the Black Widow, a spider who kills her partners.

Clint would push her, but never too far, and she was always vocal when one was around, expecting him to assassinate it.

Lest, you know, she kill him.

XXX

They were in the training center, a vast complex built by Tony himself. Every weapon SHIELD had to offer, was there.

Including, not limited to, Coulson's final weapon.

It was cased in glass and seen by every one who enters or exits.

At present, Clint and Nat were in the shooting range, both testing out new types of ammo.

They shot in silence, only moving or stopping when they had to go down range to change the target.

Natasha was walking back after replacing hers, when her trained eye saw it. A speck, barely larger than her thumb nail was just above the elevator button at the far end of the range. She stopped.

"Clint."

"Nat."

"Do you see that."

"No."

"Yes you did."

"I didn't." He was trying to remain composed.

"So much for those extra cones in your eyes, _Hawkeye_." He rolled his eyes and turned around. He was proud of those extra cones.

"Really, Nat?"

"Kill it."

"It isn't even close to you, you're being irrational." He was getting whiny.

"It has too many legs. Now that's irrational."

"You need an intervention." She huffed.

"Just do it."

He rolled his eyes and drew his arrow. She only relaxed after it pierced the metal right above the button.

"You explain that to Stark." The arrow was in too deep, there would be no way to pull it out.

She smiled and walked over to him, clapping his shoulder.

"Good eye. Thanks." She smiled and got back to ripping perfect bulls-eyes with her bullets.

**Once I drew and shot an arrow into my wall, and no one was home but I had a damn arrow in my wall, so I pulled it out and there was a hole so I filled it with white gun and painted over it. We have since moved and I was never found out. 0_o**


End file.
